(special note – today is a nine-day for those who care about such things!)
It’s kinda hard to think about rain right now. It’s over 100° F outside and temps are expected to reach 103° by this evening. Not a cloud in the sky…
But today is the Rainy Day Blogfest, hosted by Christine at The Writer’s Hole, so to help remember what it’s like to be cool and damp, I’m featuring a short excerpt from my WIP Watcher. We join Sunny just after she’s had ‘dinner’ and is feeling content for a change.
To help set the mood, here’s a quiet little piano tune by Justin St. Charles and Nine Inch Nails:
It starts to sprinkle as I run along the shoreline of Lake Cachuma. I don’t care. Being wet doesn’t bother me and neither does the cold. In fact, sometimes I find the cold invigorating. Warmth, on the other hand, is quite pleasurable, especially on the inside after a hot meal. Warm days are great too, if I can protect my skin from the direct sun, which isn’t easy. People look at you funny when you’re wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck and gloves and it’s 90 degrees outside.
Jogging back to the BMW, I catch the scent of wild pig and veer off to follow it. Pigs are tough to kill because they’re so low to the ground and their barrel-shaped bodies are difficult to grip. Their necks are short and stout – breaking them is not very feasible. And they have tusks, right near my target area. I did kill one once, though, a young adult, and I thoroughly enjoyed his buttery-sweet blood.
Scent trails are easier to follow when the weather’s damp. I detect several now and slow as the scents become stronger. Weaving through the bushes, I freeze – foraging along a marshy area are three adult females and six babies. I watch for a moment, then melt into the brush.
That is one thing I will not do. I will not kill mothers or babies – of any species.
Retracing my steps, I pick up my trail again and continue on to the car. Between the deer and my twenty-mile run, I’m finally relaxed, and I smile from the sheer joy of being in the woods.
The sprinkling has turned to rain, and I stop and lift my face to the sky. I rejoice as the drops hit and trail down my cheeks, and open my mouth to see if I can feel them on the inside as well. Rain dances across the leaves and rocks in a liquid ballet, and I listen as each drop makes its own music, creating a soft woodland symphony.
Laughing, I shake my head, flinging water off my hair to add to the concert, and take off running again.
© 2010 Roh Morgon. All rights reserved.
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JC – Thanks. And no, our MC is not a werewolf. But you’re thinking in the right direction.
Christine – are you a closet vamp? 🙂
Thanks for sending the mug!
Nice, short excerpt! I love the ‘buttery sweet blood’ – that was a perfect description. It made me think of a rare filet mignon.
Now I’m hungry.
By the way, I mailed your mug today!
Gorgeous piece of prose! Is the MC a werewolf? How vivid! My favourite line, too is “Rain dances across the leaves and rocks in a liquid ballet, and I listen as each drop makes its own music, creating a soft woodland symphony.”
I really enjoyed this! Your descriptions are spot-on and you’ve made me curious about this narrator. I love that you didn’t just tell us all the details, but instead left much for us to infer. Great writing.
Thanks, Belinda – I appreciate your feedback.
Beautifully written. I agree that “Rain dances across the leaves and rocks in a liquid ballet… ” is a gorgeous metaphor. But what really breathes life into this piece for me is the contrasting emotion. The joy at the rain, juxtaposed with the violence of the hunter’s instinct and the tenderness of the character’s deliberate choice not to kill mothers or babies. I also love the arc, how the excerpt begins light, edges toward dark in the middle, then moves back toward light. Exceptional!
Wow, VR – you just made my day. Thank you for your glowing praise. I needed a warm fuzzy right about now.
Very environmental. This was a good piece for the rain theme. Atmospheric. Very nice.
Wendy – thank you and thanks for stopping by!
You really make great use of all the senses to evoke your environment and the ways your character interfaces with it. ‘Buttery-sweet blood’ is so spot on that it made me feel slightly nauseous (a compliment!). I also liked ‘melt into the brush’.
That piano tune really set the tone too. I’m partial to a bit of NIN. I think that piece was used in ‘Natural Born Killers’ if I recall correctly.
Thanks, Franklin!
Nauseous, huh? Yes, I do take that as a compliment!
Watcher has an extensive playlist, much of it quiet NIN and NIN-remixes like this one.
Well, I got it. and it has a feminim feel to it no doubt.
Loved how the rain enhances her senses, make her even more lively. I felt her excitement.
I’ll be back soon to check out the Watcher snippets.
……..dhole
Donna – She has a snow scene, too, that was supposed to go into the Weather blogfest which I unfortunately missed. Hopefully someone will follow the Rains Day Blogfest with a snowy one!
I like it. I thought this was well written. I love the part where she opens her mouth to see if she can feel them on the inside. Cool. =D AND she cares about what she kills.
Thanks, RaShelle. This is one of the few scenes in the story where Sunny forgets about her problems and just enjoys being in the moment.
Thanks for stopping by!
Rain dances across the leaves and rocks in a liquid ballet, and I listen as each drop makes its own music, creating a soft woodland symphony.
Love this sentence, and am curious about the guy..a hunter, obviously, but has he no gun? And why does he dress like that?
Intriguing!
damyanti – There are a few hints buried here about our huntress, Sunny. She hides her skin from the sun, runs twenty miles easily, and can scent her prey. And then there was the bit about the wild pig’s buttery-sweet blood…
She doesn’t need a gun.
For more about her, check out the Watcher links near the top of the sidebar.
And thanks for stopping by and joining my blog!