I had decided not to commit to this blogfest, especially in light of the fact that I missed the Weather Blogfest and barely made it to the Rainy Day Blogfest (you can check out my entry here if you missed it).
But then this scene came flooding into my head, and I had to write it.
When ya gotta write, ya gotta write.
So here’s my entry for Dawn Ember’s Word Paint Blogfest – be sure to visit her site to read the other entries.
This is an alternate scene from my WIP, Watcher, the story of Sunny Martin and her struggles to survive in a personal hell from which she cannot escape.
Hope it’s been a little while since you had breakfast (or lunch).
~~~~~~~~~
A red river tumbles over me, creating eddies around the angles of my body. I lift my head from the crimson flow, gasping, choking, as I struggle to escape its sticky clutches. My arms claw the air in vain, and when I open my eyes, all I can see is a wall of blood bearing down on me. As it crushes me, shoving me deeper and deeper into the thick torrent, I scream.
I’m still screaming as I climb from the coma-like sleep that the sun forces upon me every morning. The horror coursing through me is nothing compared to the hunger burning through my veins. It rips through my belly into my throat, its fiery need sending waves of agony into my very soul.
Nicolas appears next to the bed, concern etching his brow.
“Oh, Nicolas! What’s happening to me?!” I cry as I fling myself into his arms.
“Sshh, my sweet. It is just a blooddream.” He strokes my hair, as though calming a frightened horse. My body responds, as it always does to him, and begins to relax.
He eases me back, his eyes searching mine, and asks, “Haven’t you had them before?”
“No,” I whisper. “Never.”
His silence tells me this is unusual, and I can visualize the checklist in his head as he adds another item to the list of my oddities.
The hunger flashes through me, reminding me that it will never let me go. I press myself tight against his chest, and as he wraps his arms around me, I know he’ll never let me go, either.
It’s a heavy price for his love, and sometimes I wonder how long I can pay it.
~~~~~~~~~
© 2010 Roh Morgon. All rights reserved.
Thanks for entering my blogfest. I’m glad you were able to post this because it has quite the vivid beginning. It may start with a dream but it works for this scene. Well done. Not sure what is causing her hunger but I am interested.
Hi, Dawn!
Thanks for holding the blogfest! As for what’s causing her hunger, read the first paragraph!
Wow, what a vivid dream Sunny had! Very intriguing scene! I commented in your Rainy Day Blogfest entry that she could be a werewolf…now I’m wondering if she’s a vampire? The more I read, the more I want to read the entire book!
Thanks, JC! Again, the hints are there about what Sunny is…
Now, if I can only find an agent who feels the way you do!
Hi Roh! You have won a prize in my 100 Followers Contest. Please email me your address so I can send it to you.
Congratulations!
Christine
Oh, cool! Thanks, Christine!
Uh yeah; you definitely had to write this for us. I love gruesome! It didn’t spoil my wine at all 🙂
This is going to be an interesting character to follow.
…….dhole
BTW: I’ve been here a few times in the last few days and I love your “what say you” invite. I had this mysterious urge to watch The Lord Of The Rings tonight. I’m starting the second movie. Now I see where the subconscious need was spawned 🙂
Donna: Gruesome goes well with wine…
And yes, Sunny is a trip. She and Nicolas have taken me on quite the wild ride over the last year.
Thanks for the feedback. And, just so you know, there is another reference to Lord of the Rings buried here. You can find it in the heading of my blog (and it has nothing to do with the moonlight). 🙂
Some very good description. Not that I get the vampire genre. I wouldn’t know about ‘blood dreams’ and stuff, but I liked the flow (no pun intended) and enjoyed it Rob..:)
A red river tumbles over me, creating eddies around the angles of my body. I lift my head from the crimson flow, gasping, choking, as I struggle to escape its sticky clutches. My arms claw the air in vain, and when I open my eyes, all I can see is a wall of blood bearing down on me. As it crushes me, shoving me deeper and deeper into the thick torrent, I scream.
Wow, scary, and creepy in a good way…what a word-painting!
Short, sweet, and well written – the best kind of blogfest entry. This actually made me want to read more, and I’m definitely intrigued. Very well done.
Well, there were a lot of things to love about this, but what stood about was the blooddream. That was cool. And the fact that he won’t leave her. Vampires are soooo overdone. I feel qualified to say that only because I’m in the editing process of a vampires novel myself. And one thing which is difficult for us is coming up with something new and speical about our vamps. Yours are cool!!! Keep it up!!!
Yay, RaShelle! Thank you! Praise from another vamp writer is truly appreciated!
damyanti: thanks! What’s really creepy is the way those words poured into my head and out my fingers – I could barely catch a breath!
KM: Thank you – those are words every writer lives for!
I wonder similar things of the human Bella when she becomes a vampire for Edward — I only watch the movies.
It’s all fun and games until you realize that maybe you’re really not that good at impulse control and saying no to hunger.
Great intense, vivid scene with vibrant imagry. Thanks for the kind words on my entry. Don’t be a stranger. Roland
Well, Roland, Sunny was already accustomed to her non-human life and was pretty happy in her misery before she met Nicolas. He just ratcheted up the stakes in the game.
Thanks for the kudos!
A blood dream and other oddities she is not doing well as a vampire.
The idea that he will never let her go does not strike me as encouraging what with her wondering how long she can continue to pay the price of loving him.
Great painting with words – I was right there.
Thanks for your comment, Elaine.
Well, that’s Sunny today. Tomorrow she’ll have no doubts, ready and willing to spend eternity with him.
Until the next upset.
Fascinating! A blood dream? And what a gruesome thing it is, too. *shudders*
Glad you joined the ‘fest! (I’ve posted a new one, too, in case you’re interested… ; P )
Hi, Tessa! Yeah, I was wondering about the gross-out factor 🙂
On my way to check out your blog!